


You Give Me Your Light

by FandomStar



Series: Modern Charité [1]
Category: Charité | Charité at War (TV)
Genre: (Smut can be avoided by skipping the scene separated with ~~~), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputation, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Disownment, Domestic, Homophobic family, Hospitals, I just wanted you to know what you were in for, Idk I'm just tagging random shit at this point, Karin Being Adorable, Kissing, M/M, Maternal love, Mostly Martin's POV, Past Military Career, Smut, past toxic relationship, supportive family, the tags make it seem depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomStar/pseuds/FandomStar
Summary: "As long as I can be with you, nothing matters.”Otto sobbed against Martin’s chest, causing Martin to pull his boyfriend closer and tighten his arms around him.“I’ve been wanting someone to say that to me for so long.” Otto admitted in a whisper.Martin smiled despite himself.“Now you have him.”
Relationships: Martin Schelling & Frau Marquardt, Mentioned Martin Schelling & Ferdinand Sauerbruch, Otto Marquardt & Anni Waldhausen, Otto Marquardt & Frau Marquardt, Otto Marquardt/Martin Schelling, Past Otto Marquardt/Nurse Christel
Series: Modern Charité [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896919
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	You Give Me Your Light

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for about 4 weeks, and now I've finally finished! I might write some shorter pieces in this 'verse because it's actually been really fun to write (and research while procrastinating the writing part).  
> Many thanks to the Charité Discord for being a bit of a sounding board and loving the idea along with me - you can finally read it!  
> Title taken from the translated German - English lyrics of Meine Soldaten by Maxim (though the Rogers version is better)  
> (Smut can be avoided by skipping the scene separated with ~~~)

Martin glanced up at a knock on the door to the examination room he was in. A dark haired man in a student’s coat was standing just outside the door. 

“You’re not Professor Sauerbruch.” he stated.

Leaning back after smoothing the socks on his stump, Martin smiled. “I think I’d be concerned if I was. Can I help you?”

“You might if you know anything about the lectures he’s been giving.”

“If it’s information about having a leg cut off that you need, I’m more than qualified to help.” Martin told him.

“I realise that. No, I’m just a little confused about what we’re expected to have with us on Friday.”

Martin noticed the paper in the man’s hand. 

“Is that the brief?” he asked, and got an answering nod. “I might be able to figure it out, I have quite a bit of experience translating Sauerbruch.”

When he was given the paper, he took a pen from a pocket in his uniform. Biting his lower lip, he scribbled down what he could decipher.

“I don’t think I’ve got everything, but it’s better than you came in with!”

The student grinned at him with bright eyes. “Thank you so much!”

Martin stretched a hand out and introduced himself. “Martin Schelling, one of Sauerbruch’s favourite amputee patients and also one of his ward nurses.”

“Otto Marquardt, third year medical student.”

“Pleasure to meet you. Do you mind grabbing my leg? I don’t think Sauerbruch’s coming back.”

Otto followed Martin’s pointed finger and returned to the table with his prosthesis. 

“Do you need any help, or are you okay?” he asked, his voice professional.

Despite appreciating that the offer wasn’t made out of pity, Martin still felt himself scowl. “Believe it or not, I know how to do this after four years.”

Otto looked taken aback, before nodding. “Right. Thanks again for the help.”

When he left, Martin sighed.

* * *

Martin was surprised to notice Otto approaching him in the hospital cafeteria the next day.

“Do you mind if I join you?” he asked.

Swallowing his bite of bread, Martin shook his head and gestured to the seat opposite him.

“Look, I just wanted to apologise if I offended you yesterday, it wasn’t my intention.” Otto told him.

Martin shook his head. “You didn’t. I’m just very used to people leaving me to it, and ever since I came back from… since I came back to Berlin, I’ve become very adept at pushing people away. It’s a natural instinct. So, if anything, it should be me apologising to you. I didn’t mean to snap or make you feel unwanted or unwelcome, it’s just… who I am, I suppose.”

Otto smiled at him.

“I understand. I can be like that sometimes, it happens to all of us, some more than others,” he assured Martin. “Let’s start again! How long have you worked here?”

Martin felt his mouth curve itself into a smile of his own.

“I’ve been a nurse here for nearly a year, but I trained here too, after I recovered from surgery, so about four years.” he told Otto.

“Was the surgery the reason you ‘came back’? Actually, where were you before? Did you work abroad?”

Martin’s mood dropped. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“Sorry. Sorry, I know. I’ll shut up.”

There was a tense silence.

“I don’t tell a lot of people this, so don’t go spreading it,” Martin hesitantly began to tell Otto. “I was in the army reserves. My parents insisted. A year after I finished training, though, I went and essentially got my leg blown off. Next thing I know, I’m back home in Berlin, here actually, with Sauerbruch telling me I had no left leg. My parents weren’t there. Apparently they disowned me, but either way I haven’t seen them since I left for army training. I’d wanted to be a nurse, so after a lot of therapy and having my first prosthesis fitted, I asked Sauerbruch if Charité needed anyone.” He blinked at Otto. “I’ve never told anyone all of that.”

“I’m honoured then,” Otto replied, smiling. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you went through all of that. The only thing I have to tell you is that my dad was an abusive bastard that my mum and sister managed to get away from before I was born.”

Martin ate a spoonful of his soup before speaking again.

“Well, now that I’ve told you my life story, I think it’s only fair that I get to ask you some questions.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

The two men grinned at each other.

“Are you planning on specialising in anything?” Martin asked.

“I’m planning on going into emergency medicine, though I’ve been training in other specialties since I don’t need a solid decision until next year.” Otto told him.

Martin nodded, mildly surprised at his forward thinking. “You mentioned a sister, tell me about her?”

Otto’s face lit up, and Martin knew he’d made a smart choice. 

“Anni’s 28, seven years older than me. She got divorced last year and has a daughter, Karin, and she’s the sweetest thing you’ll ever see! She finished her training in pediatric psychiatry a few months ago and she’s set to start work a couple miles out of the city. We fight and tease, but at the end of the day she’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had.” Otto told him.

The love Otto had for his sister made Martin smile, just as his pager went off, reminding him to start the rounds he’d forgotten about.

“This has been nice, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you,” he said, reluctantly standing. “I hope I see you around.”

“You too!” Otto called after him. 

* * *

Over the few months following their first meeting, Martin became close to Otto - and also began developing feelings for him that he found terrifying. The last relationship he’d had ended when his parents found out and demanded he join the army when he left school to “fix” him, over seven years previously.

Martin had invited Otto to join him for a Christmas lunch at his house the day before Christmas Eve. They spent hours talking and laughing. Then Otto kissed Martin. Scared, Martin froze, causing Otto to pull back. 

“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Martin, I-” Otto stopped his panicked rambling when he saw that Martin still hadn’t moved. “Martin? Are you okay?”

Shakily, Martin exhaled. He allowed Otto to guide him to his sofa, where they sat down.

“I really am sorry, Martin.” Otto whispered.

“Don’t be,” Martin said, finally meeting Otto’s eyes with his own. “I should be apologising, I-”

The sob that escaped his throat surprised him, and he ran his thumb under an eye. When it came away wet, he covered his face with his hands.

“Martin, what’s wrong?” Otto gently, asked, carefully prying the nurse’s hands away from his face.

“I haven’t felt the way I feel about you in a very long time,” Martin whispered. “I had no time to look for anybody when I was in the army, and after my amputation, I… I never considered myself particularly attractive before, and I was fine with that, but after… I’ve always felt that nobody would ever be attracted to me when they inevitably found out.”

“Oh, Martin.” Otto breathed.

“So, you… the fact I have a leg made of metal and plastic was one of the first things you learned about me. Knowing that someone I have so many feelings for finds me attractive, and attractive enough to kiss…”

When he sobbed again, Martin felt Otto’s arms engulf his body.

“Martin, you are the most handsome man I’ve ever known, metal leg and stump included,” the younger man firmly told him. “And I’m not going to let you forget it. If you’ll have me.”

Taking Martin’s tear-stained glasses and placing them on the coffee table, Otto rested Martin’s head on his shoulder. Martin relaxed and tightly embraced Otto.

“I’ll have you, Otto,” he murmured. “But it won’t be easy. I’ve not had a date in seven years.”

“Oh, please! We’ve basically been going on dates for months!”

Martin laughed, before sitting up. Otto’s face was blurred, due to both his vision and unshed tears.

“Kiss me again.” he requested.

Gently holding Martin’s jaw, Otto pressed his lips to Martin’s in a simple kiss. Martin rested a hand on Otto’s shoulder and returned the kiss, before burying his face in Otto’s neck again.

“Should I be worried you’re going to turn me into a vampire?” Otto joked, stroking the older man’s hair.

Martin hummed. “It’s just comfy.”

Otto nuzzled the top of his head. “As long as you’re happy.”

Martin lost himself in the feeling of being in someone’s arms again after so long. 

“I’m scared,” he quietly admitted after a while. “I really don’t want to screw this up.”

“I feel the same way,” Otto confessed, before explaining. “I’ve only ever been in relationships with girls. When I was younger, I didn’t know that I had an option to do anything with the guys I had crushes on, so every so often I’d pick a girl at random and ask her out. By the time I realised that girls weren’t my only option, I thought it was too late, that now that I’d spent my teenage years with girls, I could only ever date girls as an adult. I wanted to be wrong so badly, but I didn’t know anybody to ask. But now I don’t care if I’m wrong or right, I just… I just know that I want to be with you.”

“Otto.” Martin breathed, choked up.

The pair sat on Martin’s sofa holding each other for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

The new year came and went, and a Sunday morning in February found Otto curled around Martin, having spent the night at Martin’s house, which had become a regular occurrence over the month. Otto mouthed kisses against Martin’s neck, drawing pleased hums from his throat. Soon, Otto’s hand found its way to Martin’s hip and gently rubbed it. Sighing happily, Martin nudged his nose against Otto’s forehead, prompting him to tilt his head back so that he could be kissed. Otto groaned at the new pressure.

When he felt his boyfriend’s hand slip under his shirt and trace the skin of his stomach, Martin had to pull away.

“Otto…” he said, trailing off when he realised he didn’t know what he was going to ask.

“Sorry. I’m sorry if that’s too soon, I just… I guess I just felt that we were going in that direction, and-” Otto paused. “I’m sorry for misinterpreting.”

“No! No, don’t apologise,” Martin insisted, holding Otto’s cheek. “Let’s… let’s talk about taking that step? Even if we don’t do anything.”

Otto’s eyes widened. “Really? Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

The couple sat and faced each other on the bed.

“So, you take the lead. What should we start with?” Otto asked.

“How about past experience?” Martin suggested. “I don’t have a lot. I only ever slept with the boyfriend I had between the ages of 16 and 18.”

“I’ve never had sex with a man, so you’d be my first. But I _have_ had sex with a few girlfriends. It’s always been… a bit ‘eh’ for me, but that’s probably because it’s peak heterosexuality!”

They giggled between themselves.

“What do you like?” Otto asked. “Since you already have some experience with this.”

Martin’s face flushed. “I bottomed most of the time. It’s… it’s good! My chest is quite sensitive, and I like my neck… as you probably gathered.” He paused. “Do _not_ go anywhere near my stump.”

Martin was incredibly surprised by how aggressive he’d come across, but Otto just grinned.

“I assumed that anyway, but thank you for telling me.”

“What about you? Although, maybe it’s easier to tell me what you do to pleasure yourself?” Martin asked through a blush.

Otto’s blush rivalled Martin’s.

“I… I usually take it slow. I don’t like doing things fast or rough, I found that out very quickly,” he told his boyfriend. “I’ve, um, found my ears to be rather sensitive. My thighs too. I… think that’s it?”

Martin smiled at his uncertainty. “We can figure out more as we go along.” For a second, he was thoughtful. “I’d like it if you talked to me as well, I think. Just to reassure me that you feel good and that you find me attractive.”

Grinning, Otto leaned forward and gently stroked Martin’s cheek.

“I can definitely do that,” he told Martin. “On a similar note, don’t be quiet. I want to know how you feel, good or bad.”

Martin giggled. “Apparently this isn’t going to be a silent affair!”

“I wouldn’t want it to be,” Otto said, lifting one of Martin’s hands to his lips. “It’d be detached if it was.”

Smiling, Martin wrapped his arms around Otto and pulled him to lay next to him. As he snuggled up against Otto’s chest, he felt the younger man stroke his fingers through his hair. He felt himself getting drowsier, and murmured, “I love you,” into Otto’s chest, before his eyes dropped closed and he fell into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, Martin found himself laid out on his bed with his shirt open and Otto poised above him, kissing him with a gentle passion that made him melt. Otto lightly traced a finger up the dip between his pecs, making him squirm in pleasure.

“Are you sure you’re ready to do this?” Otto checked.

Martin nodded. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” Otto replied, smiling, before kissing Martin again and pushing his own shirt from his body.

When Martin’s shirt was also hastily taken off, both items of clothing were dropped to the floor beside the bed. Otto raised a hand to rub his thumb in circular motions around Martin’s nipple, causing Martin to moan into his mouth. 

“You’re very good at that.” he told Otto, breathless, as his boyfriend moved to give the other nipple attention.

Martin tugged at the waist of Otto’s trousers. Getting the hint, Otto got to his knees to unzip his trousers and pull himself out of them. After shifting out of his own, Martin pulled Otto down to pepper kisses along his jaw, stopping just below his ear. When Martin took his ear lobe between his lips and teased his tongue against the flesh, Otto gasped.

“Oh, _Gott,”_ he breathed. “Gott, that’s… that feels so… amazing! Wow.”

Martin licked a stripe up the curve behind his ear, before doing the same back down and nibbling his lobe gently. Loudly, Otto groaned, grinding down and managing to meet Martin’s cock with his own. The friction drew grunts from both men. Otto pulled back from Martin’s ministrations on his ear. He gazed into his boyfriend’s half-lidded eyes and balanced his weight onto one hand to push his fringe from his forehead before kissing it lightly.

“You’re so gorgeous, Martin,” he whispered. “If we’re going to go further, I think we’d best start now.”

Shakily, Martin exhaled, before pulling Otto into a searing kiss.

“I take it we’re in agreement?” Otto checked, teasing breathlessly.

Meeting his gaze with bright, sparkling eyes, Martin nodded. Softly, Otto stroked his hand down Martin’s chest, tickling against the light dusting of hair, before reaching for the lube Martin had left on the bedside table.

“Tell me if you want to stop at any point.” he whispered into the slightly older nurse’s ear.

Frantically, Martin nodded. When Otto pressed a finger past his rim, Martin whimpered.

Otto let him adjust for a minute, before asking, “You okay?” He was answered with a whispered “yes”, encouraging him to thrust his finger carefully in and out of him a few times, before slowly adding another finger, pulling a moan from Martin’s throat. As he scissored his fingers, he kept a close eye on Martin’s face, watching for any discomfort or pain. Otto added a third finger.

“Otto!” Martin cried, groaning in pleasure as Otto curled his fingers inside him.

“Are you okay?” he checked, his eyes somewhat worried as he searched Martin’s face.

Placing his hands either side of his boyfriend’s face, Martin pulled him down into a slow, passionate kiss. Taking that as a yes, Otto melted against Martin’s lips and flexed his fingers again. Martin moaned into Otto’s mouth.

“ _Oh, Otto,_ ” he breathed between groans. “ _Please!_ ”

Otto pulled his face back to look into his boyfriend’s eyes. “Are you still sure you want to do this?”

“What do you think?” Martin responded breathlessly, grinning.

Quickly, Otto pecked a kiss to his lips. “I got tested earlier in the week. I’m clean,” he told Martin. “Do you still want to use a condom, or…”

Martin’s eyes widened.

“Otto… Otto, I want to feel you more than anything,” he admitted. “But are _you_ sure-?”

“I trust you when you say you haven’t done anything since your first boyfriend, and I’m assuming you used protection then.” Martin nodded. “Then I think I can be fairly certain to say that we’d very likely be safe.” Otto sighed. “Martin, I’m… I’m incredibly serious when I say that I can see you being in my life for as long as it lasts. I… want this. If you do.”

Martin felt a lump lodge itself at the back of his throat as he gave Otto a shaky smile. Unable to say anything nearly as profound as that, Martin nodded. Pressing his body to the nurse’s, Otto kissed his lips softly as he guided himself inside Martin, who whined at the foreign stretch. Slowly, he pushed as far in as he could before settling for a moment, basking in the feel of being surrounded by his boyfriend and waiting to be given the all clear. When Martin groaned and pressed his hands to Otto’s lower back, Otto began thrusting slowly. 

“Oh, Gott, yes!” he moaned, as he felt Martin’s fingers claw into his back just below his shoulder blades. “You feel so good, and you’re gorgeous. So gorgeous, Martin, I don’t understand how I got this lucky.”

Martin sighed before crying out in pleasure when Otto changed the angle he thrusted at.

“Are you okay?” he asked, checking he hadn’t misinterpreted.

“Don’t stop!” Martin pleaded, scratching at the medical student’s back when he began moving again.

The sensation of Martin’s nails against his skin caused a wave of pleasure that made Otto growl. He kept his comfortably slow pace up, as he felt his orgasm building up to its peak.

“Martin,” he moaned. “Martin, look at me.”

Martin blinked up at him, his eyes still as warm as ever even with his pupils dilated. Otto felt a whimper escape his throat at the sight.

“I’m close, Martin. I’m… are you…” Before he could finish his thought, he let out a drawn-out moan as he released into Martin. A similar sound came from Martin, and Otto felt the warmth and the stickiness of Martin’s come. After carefully pulling out, Otto fell to the side and cuddled up to Martin, kissing him gently.

“I don’t think I’ve physically felt that good in years.” Martin admitted in a whisper.

Otto smiled and peppered soft kisses to the base of Martin’s neck. 

“I’m glad I could give that to you then,” he murmured. “Give it to you forever if you want me to.”

Martin inhaled sharply, but wasn’t able to ask Otto what he meant because the younger man had fallen asleep against his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

Due to Martin’s general distrust of people leading to a dislike of public affection, it was another month before he and Otto’s relationship became general hospital knowledge. For a reason unknown to him, Martin had become the object of one Nurse Christel’s hostile attention. He’d barely spoken to her before, yet the entire day after he and Otto had essentially “come out” he was subjected to glares and other completely unnecessary gestures that could well have endangered a patient on multiple occasions. As he was preparing to leave at the end of his shift, folding his uniform into his locker, Martin felt a small hand grab his arm and roughly pull him aside, nearly causing him to overbalance. Once he’d centred himself, he looked up, finding himself face-to-face with Christel.

“I know what you’ve done to him.” she hissed.

Martin frowned, confused and, if he was honest with himself, a little frightened.

“Done to who?” he cautiously questioned.

“You know who!” Christel exclaimed. “You’re a pervert, you know that, Schelling?”

Martin’s eyes became steely, having heard that from only one other person. “So I’ve been told,” he gravely replied. “This is about Otto Marquardt.”

“What else would it be about?” Christel snapped. “You did this to him! You wanted him, so you got him, and how does that make you feel, _Mr Schelling?”_

Shocked by the outburst, Martin blinked. “I’m… I’m sorry? What are you… Are you trying to imply something?”

 _“Imply?_ I’m not implying something when I know it to be true!”

Martin’s brain hurt trying to come up with a remark to bite back with.

“If you must know, I was more terrified than Otto when he first confessed his feelings to me, because I hadn’t even considered the possibility of having a relationship in seven years,” he told Christel, trying to sound detached. “I’m glad I wasn’t scared off. These past months with Otto have made me happier than I have ever felt before, and I _won’t be giving them up for you._ Now, I need to go home and rest, I have had an exhausting day with partial thanks going to you for that.”

He left Christel gaping after him like a goldfish. Once he’d picked up his bag and left the building, he pulled out his phone and tapped out a message for Otto to read later:

**Come over after your shift? I want to talk to you about something that happened. Love you xx**

Martin had just finished setting up the table for dinner when his doorbell rang. Thinking over the fact that it would save a lot of effort if Otto had a key, considering how often he was at Martin’s house, he opened the door for his boyfriend.

“Good evening,” he greeted, kissing Otto on the lips briefly before closing the door and taking Otto’s coat from him. “I’ve got dinner ready.”

He followed Otto into the kitchen/dining area.

“So, what happened?” Otto asked once they were both sitting at the small table.

Martin sighed. “You wouldn’t happen to know a Nurse Christel, would you?”

His eyes wide, Otto deflated. He put his cutlery down, noticing his hands shaking.

“I… yeah. We… dated, if you could call it that, for about two months last Summer. I… it hadn’t been a good time for me. I’d mentioned to Mum that I might find men attractive, and it didn’t go down well, so… I went back to my thoughts that I could force myself to be straight,” he explained. “I knew it wouldn’t work, it hadn’t before, but… I kinda felt… messed up, so I did it. On top of all of that, Christel was… not a good choice. The dynamic she had with me was… it was toxic and made me feel even more awful about myself than before so… I quit it.” When Martin tried to say something to comfort him, Otto interrupted. “Don’t. She’s… she’s been bugging me ever since, trying to get me to crawl back to her, and I knew she’d do _something_ when she found out about us, but I never stopped to think that she’d go after _you.”_

Martin reached across the table and grasped both of Otto’s hands.

 _“Otto,”_ he firmly said. “I know how to handle these people, in fact I’ve done it so many times before, and I did it again this afternoon. Being called a pervert is _not_ the worst thing I have heard before now.”

Otto’s eyes widened in horror. “She said _what?”_

Martin waved off his concern. “As I said, not the worst word I’ve been called in my life.”

Seeing his boyfriend’s eyes shimmering and wet with unshed tears, Martin pushed his chair away from the table. He lightly rested a hand on Otto’s shoulder. “Forget dinner,” he quietly said. “I’ll reheat it later. Let’s go and sit down.”

Otto let Martin wrap an arm around his waist and guide him to his lounge. Martin sat on his sofa and Otto followed, curling around the slightly older nurse and sprawling himself half across his lap. Gently, Martin threaded his fingers through Otto’s hair.

“I just wish we’d be left alone.” Otto mumbled.

“It’ll die down soon,” Martin reassured him. “Until then… as long as I can be with you, nothing matters.”

Otto sobbed against Martin’s chest, causing Martin to pull his boyfriend closer and tighten his arms around him.

“I’ve been wanting someone to say that to me for so long.” Otto admitted in a whisper.

Martin smiled despite himself.

“Now you have him.”

* * *

“Hello, you,” Otto greeted, kissing Martin’s cheek before sitting opposite him. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Can’t imagine why.” Martin replied, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

Martin continued eating his sandwich as Otto steeled himself to break his news. 

“Anni is visiting the city next week.” Otto finally told him.

Martin smiled - he knew how much Otto missed his sister. “That’s nice, it’s good that you can see each other again. She’s not staying in that god-forsaken hole of yours, is she?”

“Oh, lord, no! Of course not, it barely fits me!” Otto exclaimed. “I’m getting breakfast with her the morning after she arrives - don’t look at me like that, she gets here at 11pm, I’m normally asleep by 10 at the latest! And I… well, I was wondering whether you’d like to come with me.”

Surprised, Martin nearly choked on his sandwich.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m okay, just… Are you _sure?”_

“I want my family to know about us. I want everyone to know how important you are to me… how much I love and cherish you. Anni’s the safest person to start with.”

A smile sneaked its way onto Martin’s face.

“I’d… I’d love to join you, _liebling_ ,” he told Otto. “You’ve told me so much about her, I’d love to meet her and see if you’ve done her justice.”

Otto laughed. “We’re still going out tonight, aren’t we?”

“If you’re able to stay awake, Mr ‘I Fall Asleep At 10 O’Clock Every Night’!” Martin teased, earning himself a kick. “My lunch is over, I need to go. I’ll see you later, though.”

* * *

Less than a week later, Martin and Otto were walking to the coffee shop they were due to meet Anni in holding hands (the only public affection Martin was comfortable with 90% of the time). Otto had only told Anni that there was someone he wanted her to meet. Though he was fairly certain she was expecting him to bring a girl, he reassured Martin that it was something he was absolutely sure he wanted to do, saying that he didn’t want to spend their entire lives (Martin pointedly ignored his wording) hiding Martin from his family. 

“Anni!” Otto happily exclaimed, rushing to hug his sister - a woman with dark blonde curly hair - before noticing the baby sat in a high chair. “And Karin! Turning up unannounced! How is my beautiful niece?”

Otto picked up the small girl and littered her face with kisses, much to her delight. After carefully placing Karin back in her chair, he turned to gesture Martin over. “Martin, this is Anni and her daughter, Karin.” He allowed his eyes to meet Anni’s. “Anni, this is Martin Schelling… my boyfriend.”

Shock was written all over Anni’s face.

“Boyfriend? But, Otto, you’re not… You’re…” Her confusion was clear in her struggle to find words. “Why would you never tell me about this?”

Otto motioned for Martin to sit on the couch opposite Anni, before joining him. “To be fair, I only really understood what it meant that I’d only ever found men attractive a few years ago. But I thought I’d lost my chance because I’d only dated girls, and when I thought I might be wrong about that, I brought up the possibility of being gay with Mum and… well, you know how Mama can be.”

Anni just stared at him.

“Otto, are you sure-?” she started to ask, before stopping and dropping her voice. “Are you sure he hasn’t manipulated you, or-?”

Feeling Martin tense at his shoulder, Otto stopped Anni with a single utterance of her name, before turning to Martin. “Martin? It’s okay. Nobody will hurt you, not while I’m around you.”

Martin managed to control his breathing enough to huff a laugh. “You couldn’t even take on Karin if you tried.”

“True,” Otto agreed, smiling as he soothingly rubbed his boyfriend’s stump (appearing as his thigh to anybody else). “You okay, now?”

Nodding, Martin wrapped an arm around Otto’s waist. Anni frowned.

“What just-?”

“Let’s just say my family were homophobic enough to send their son to the military and then disown him when he needed to come back for an amputation.” Martin explained quickly, not allowing her to finish.

Anni’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh.”

Otto glanced between his boyfriend, staring at the table to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze, and his sister, clearly still trying to process what Martin’s family had done to him.

“Anni… I needed you to know. Not telling you about-” He paused to smile at Martin. “Not telling you about one of the best things to happen in my life was killing me.”

Anni watched Martin look up at him in mild disbelief, causing Otto to lean in and whisper to him. “When will you start to believe me when I tell you these things?”

Martin sighed.

“So, how long have you…?” Anni asked, figuring that she should start trying to wrap her head around her brother’s relationship.

“A few days before Christmas.” Otto replied.

“Oh, Otto. That’s why you were so uncomfortable when Mama-”

Otto nodded. “I almost told you all then.”

Karin chose that moment to gurgle and reach for her uncle, who laughed and lifted her from her chair. As he plopped her onto his chest, Martin gazed at the ease with which his partner interacted with the baby.

“He’s always been incredible with her,” Anni told him. “Sometimes I wonder if she prefers uncle Otto over me!”

“Oh, she couldn’t, Anni!” Otto laughed, before directing his voice to Karin. “Nobody compares to Mutti, do they?”

Martin continued watching Otto and Karin with an undisguised love written all over his face. When Anni gently touched his hand to get his attention, he startled slightly.

“Sorry. I get the feeling I should be getting to know you better. What do you do?”

“I’m a nurse at Charité. I mostly stick to the surgical wards, but I do other things here and there. My training was done at the hospital too, I qualified last year.” Martin told her, smiling. Anni frowned, clearly having done the maths. “I only started training when I was 20. That was the year I came back from the military and had my amputation.”

“You started so soon?”

Martin shook his head. “People tend to think that, but I came back to Berlin in early January. I started counselling as soon as I could get around with a temporary prosthesis, and then my final prosthetic was fitted at the end of April. I decided to work towards doing what I’d wanted to do in the first place and ending up starting the training that September.”

Feeling himself blush under Anni’s awe-inspired gaze, he turned his attention back to Otto, who was babbling to Karin about one thing or another. When Karin noticed him, she reached out towards him, and he let her press her palm to his cheek.

“I’ll order breakfast then. Martin, how do you take your coffee?” Anni asked.

“Hmm? Black, please.”

Karin’s hand had found the arm of Martin’s glasses, so he easily took them off and allowed her to take them from him. Gently, Martin kissed Otto’s temple.

“You’re so good with her.” he marvelled.

“You are, too.” Otto replied.

“You’d make an excellent father.” Martin told him.

Otto smiled at him. “I have a lot of life left. Perhaps I will yet.”

Martin couldn’t stop himself from pressing his mouth to Otto’s. When Anni returned, the three of them chatted things over as Otto bounced Karin on his knee, much to the baby’s delight. However, as much as he loved and enjoyed spending breakfast with Anni and Otto, Martin found his heart breaking at how close their relationship was, knowing that he would never have that with any of his own family.

* * *

“Martin.” 

Martin looked up from the bed he was straightening up.

“Professor Sauerbruch. What do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, standing to his full height.

“There’s no easy way to tell you this,” Sauerbruch said. “But your father was admitted about two hours ago. Advanced pneumonia - it doesn’t look good. I wanted to let you know, in case you wanted to…”

He gestured vaguely with his hands. Slowly, Martin nodded.

“Thank you, professor.” he said.

Sauerbruch patted his shoulder, before leaving him to carry on. 

* * *

As they stood in the doorway, Otto could feel the tension in the tightness of Martin’s grip on his hand.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he softly asked.

Martin didn’t respond for a while, before nodding.

“I have to. If only for some kind of closure.” he told his boyfriend.

When he turned, he saw Otto’s understanding smile. He kissed his forehead.

“Stay here. This could get very messy.” he warned.

Reassuringly, Otto squeezed Martin’s hand. “I’ll be right here.”

Armed with the support of his boyfriend, Martin steeled himself before approaching his father’s bed. He knew he’d changed in many ways, so he didn’t expect to be immediately recognised.

“What are you doing here?” the older man grumbled.

Martin refused to show his surprise. “I work here. My boss told me you’d been admitted.” He paused for a moment. “And I needed answers.”

Philipp Schelling huffed.

“Need? More likely you want to harass an old man into explaining himself.”

“No matter what you’ve done, I wouldn’t do that,” Martin said. “I… Four years ago, I went through one of the most difficult things I will likely ever experience in my life. And I had _nobody._ I understand that I’m a disappointment to you, that you hate everything that I am, but surely the least you could have done was tell me to my face that you hated me enough to renounce me.”

Phillip pointedly ignored everything his son had said and allowed his eyes to sear through Otto. “Who’s that?” he asked.

Martin set his face into an immovable expression. “My boyfriend. Otto.”

“You’re still on that, are you?” Philipp scoffed.

Martin saw Otto bristle on his behalf.

“I’m still gay, yes,” he replied. “Nothing was going to change that.”

“A man can dream.”

Closing his eyes, Martin took a deep breath. “I can see this isn’t going anywhere. I hope the past four years have treated you well, because unlike you, I am apparently a good person.”

He spun and walked out, closely followed by Otto. When he felt himself about to break down, he leant back against a wall. Before he could fall to the floor, Otto wrapped his arms around Martin and maneuvered him to a chair so he could sob into Otto’s shoulder freely and safely.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into his boyfriend’s hair. “You don’t deserve him. I’m sure Professor Sauerbruch would happily be your dad.”

That drew a small laugh from Martin, which pleased Otto.

“He already has enough trouble with his own sons.”

Otto gently rocked with Martin until his breathing steadied.

“I’ll take you home. Sauerbruch asked me to make sure you got home okay.” he told his boyfriend.

“But you have a seminar. I’ll be fine, Otto.”

“If I don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it, and you know what the professor’s temper can be like. Besides, it’s just a review of last week, I can do that independently.”

Knowing the uselessness of protesting any further, Martin gave in and allowed Otto to take him home.

* * *

One morning in June found the couple in Martin’s bed on a rare day off. Half asleep, their kisses were deep and lazy, and their hands aimlessly roamed the skin of their bare bodies. Martin pulled Otto’s right leg up to rest on his hip so he could stroke his pale thigh. Humming, Otto pulled himself impossibly closer to his boyfriend. Slowly, Martin pulled his lips away to gaze into Otto’s bright, sleepy eyes and caress his cheek.

“I love you so much, Otto.” he whispered.

“I know,” Otto replied, ducking his head to mouth along Martin’s jaw. “I love you, too.”

Martin tucked Otto against his chest and pressed his face into his hair - he loved being around Otto when his hair wasn’t gelled. “What do you want to do today?”

“Stay in bed with you all morning. Out for lunch. Not sure about this afternoon, you choose. Also, maybe out for dinner? Unless you really want to cook.”

“I’m _very_ in favour of that.” Martin agreed, kissing Otto’s forehead.

As suggested, Otto and Martin spend the morning attached to each other after putting breakfast together. They cuddled, sloppily made out and had slow sex all morning, before getting dressed and heading out to find a café to eat lunch in.

* * *

They ended up at Café Einstein in the evening. The conversation and the silence between as they ate was casual, and Otto kept his ankle hooked around Martin’s, a gesture that Martin was beginning to think may be some kind of gentle possessiveness. 

“I want to ask you something.” Otto told Martin over the apple strudel they were sharing.

Martin’s eyebrows furrowed under the rim of his glasses slightly. “Go ahead.”

He saw Otto hesitate, distracting himself with a forkful of dessert.

“You know it’s my birthday next month?” Martin nodded. “Well… Mum wants me and Anni to go down to Allgäu to celebrate. I want you to come.”

As he processed Otto’s request, Martin’s eyes widened.

“Are you… Are you sure?” he asked.

“Only if you want to. If things go south, I’m fairly sure Anni would be more than happy to come to a pub with us and we can do that.” Otto replied. 

Feeling torn, Martin stared at the table for a few seconds - he didn’t want to put Otto in the position of possibly having to choose between his mother and his boyfriend, but he also knew that Otto was tired of hiding his sexuality and his relationship from his mother. When he met Otto’s eyes again, he was smiling softly. He took hold of his wine glass.

“I’d like nothing more.”

Beaming, Otto picked up his own glass and chinked it against Martin’s.

* * *

They took the night train to Allgäu two days before Otto’s birthday. With Otto’s help, Martin safely stored his prosthesis away, and soon fell asleep comfortably curled up against his boyfriend’s side. He wasn’t sure how long it had been before he was woken up by Otto’s gentle utterance of “liebe”. As he felt his hand trembling, he immediately knew why he had been woken up. 

“Oh.” he murmured, steadying his hand by firmly placing it on Otto’s thigh.

“Are you okay?” Otto asked, his concern evident.

“Mmm. It’s just been a while since I’ve been asleep in a vehicle,” Martin replied. “I don’t even remember what I was dreaming about. Probably don’t want to.”

Otto looped his arm around Martin’s shoulders to squeeze his body closer. “It’s okay. You don’t need to worry. Just glad you’re okay.”

“How much longer until we get there?” Martin asked, his face pressed into Otto’s jumper.

“About two and half hours.” Otto replied, getting a hum of acknowledgment. 

The remaining time was filled with quiet conversation and cuddling. They took a cab from the train station to Otto’s childhood home - a cottage with a garden of blooming flowers out in the front.

“You grew up here?” Martin asked, smiling in awe at how cosy and quaint it looked.

Otto nodded, seeming a bit amused by his reaction. “Come on.”

Martin followed Otto to the door, before he rapped his knuckles against it. Reassuringly, Martin rested a hand on the small of Otto’s back and briefly pressed his lips to his cheek. He pulled back before the door opened to reveal a slim, dark-haired woman.

“Otto!” she exclaimed, pulling Otto into a tight hug.

“Hello, Mum, it’s good to see you!” Otto replied. When he pulled back, he put a hand on Martin’s shoulder. “This is Martin.”

“Very nice to meet you.” Mrs Marquardt told him.

Unsure if she’d still hold that opinion by the end of the day, Martin nodded. The couple were ushered inside, where they sat on a sofa with their bags by their feet. 

“Mum,” Otto said, trying to get the attention of his mother, who was busying around, tidying things that didn’t need to be. “Mum, sit down, please. I need to tell you something.”

She frowned at him slightly, before situating herself in an armchair. “Of course. What is it?”

Otto was silent, and Martin tried to telepathically communicate how much he loved him.

“I’m gay,” Otto whispered, lifting his eyes to his mum’s, feeling vulnerable. “I’ve known for… for a long time now, it just… took me nearly as long to realise that it was something that was possible, that it wasn’t just my mind being messed up.” He took a deep breath, knowing that if he stopped now he’d never be able to say any of it again. “Martin’s my boyfriend. I’m in love with him. We’ve been together for about eight months. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, and it’s because of him.” 

Mrs Marquardt sucked in a breath, before plastering a smile to her face. “I think the coffee should be done, I’ll bring it in.”

When she left the room, Otto collapsed against Martin’s side, and Martin pulled him close.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, it’s done now,” he told his boyfriend. “And I’m so proud of you, Otto. You’re so much braver than I ever was, I never even told my family, they had to find out through-”

He stopped himself before he could choke up, and just pressed kisses to Otto’s head. He felt a hand on the back of his neck that left as soon as the woman of the house returned with a tray of coffee, milk and sugar.

“Your drinks, gentlemen,” she said, before sitting down again and looking at Otto, who was still shaken from his admission and was tightly gripping Martin’s hand. “I’ve been worried about you, Otto, for a long time. None of the girls you brought to meet me ever seemed right and you always seemed… quietly unhappy. You being gay shows that in a new light that makes sense. I won’t pretend to understand it, because I don’t, but since you called me for new year’s, you’ve been genuinely happy, I could hear it. And that means the world to me, hearing my son _happy_ for the first time since he was a young teenager. I look at you and I see my boy happy with a man he’s in love with, and that’s all that matters, Otto.”

Otto sobbed, and Martin squeezed his hand before standing to allow Otto’s mother to take his place and hug him. After a moment, feeling his own emotions welling up behind his eyes, he left the room to sit out in the garden. He let himself cry, out of jealousy and happiness for Otto, out of sadness and pining over what he didn’t and couldn’t have, and just as a general outlet for his emotions. He took his tear-stained glasses away from his face and carefully placed them on the ground beside him. Suddenly, Otto appeared and lowered himself to sit thigh-to-thigh with Martin, before resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Hi.” Martin whispered.

“Hey,” Otto replied. “Mum’s making dinner. Anni should be here with Karin before we eat.”

Martin hummed an acknowledgement. Sleepy, Otto wrapped his arms around him. “Mum wants to get to know you. I told her you’d probably be more present tomorrow, I… I know how hard this must be for you.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” Martin asked vacantly, after being silent for a few minutes.

“Absolutely nothing, yet at the same time, everything,” Otto murmured, pressing his face into Martin’s neck, before pulling away. “Come on, let’s go back inside before I fall asleep out here.”

Smiling, Martin allowed his boyfriend to help him to his feet after putting his glasses back on his face.

* * *

The next morning, Martin somehow managed to wake up, put his prosthesis on and get out of bed without waking Otto. Not completely remembering how steep the stairs were, he braced his hands on both the wall and the handrail as he carefully made his way down to make himself some coffee. He found Mrs Marquardt already in the kitchen doing the same thing.

“Oh, good morning, Martin!” she greeted.

“Guten Morgen, Frau Marquadt.” Martin replied, wiping the sleep from his eyes and leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Don’t bother with that, just call me Herta,” she told him, grinning. “Do you always wake early?”

Martin nodded. “Force of habit.”

“You do early shifts at the hospital?”

“No, not often,” Martin told Herta, confused before realising she was asking why he woke up early. “I was in the army for two years, well, I trained for one.”

“You weren’t there long then?” Herta asked.

“Having a leg blown off tends to cut that career short, not that I wanted to be there to start with,” Martin lightly explained, before shaking his head. “Sorry, that was probably a bit graphic for this time.”

Herta laughed and poured the kettle into two mugs. “I’ve heard worse! You’re an amputee?”

“I am. Otto didn’t mention it?”

Herta shook her head. “I think he wants me to get to know you personally.”

“He would,” Martin said, chuckling. “What do you want to know?”

She beckoned for him to follow her to the sofa, where they sat with their coffee.

“How… How did _your_ parents take it? You being...” 

Martin looked away, his eyes closed.

“When they found out I was in a relationship with a boy, they made me sign up to the army to fix me after I finished school,” he explained, feeling his pain transfer to his voice. “They never visited me when I returned to Berlin for my surgery. Afterwards I found out they’d disowned me. A few months ago, my dad was admitted to the hospital and I tried to reconnect. It… it didn’t work, he wanted nothing to do with me.”

Hearing himself sob, he hid his face in his hands. He felt arms wrap around him, and he allowed Herta to hug him to her chest. More tears spilled from Martin’s eyes at the maternal energy he found himself shrouded in.

“As long as you make Otto happy, you don’t need to think about them,” Herta softly promised. “We’re a small family, but you’re one of us now.”

Coffee forgotten, Martin hugged her tightly.

“Thank you. Sorry if I’ve forgotten what it’s like to…”

“Rule number one, never apologise for things you have no control over.”

Martin laughed. “You might have to remind me of that one!”

* * *

Otto’s birthday was split between spending time in the big garden and in front of movies. Tucked into his side, Otto smiled up at Martin. He pressed a kiss to Otto’s grin. He was happy, and so was everyone he cared about. That was all that mattered to him.


End file.
